A Hard Day's Night
by Sehrezad
Summary: Episode tag to "Countermeasures" 10/1. The conversation with Austin at the end of the episode made Calleigh realize some things and this realization prompts a serious turning point in her relationship with Ryan. Established CaRWash
1. Chapter 1

**A Hard Day's Night**

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything connecting to the show._

_Summary: Episode tag to "Countermeasures" 10/1. The conversation with Austin at the end of the episode made Calleigh realize some things and this realization prompts a serious turning point in her relationship with Ryan. Established CaRWash_

_Just for clarity's sake, I disregarded the relationships Calleigh had with Jake and Eric. In this little fantasy of mine, Calleigh and Ryan have been together for quite some time._

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><p>Ryan closed the door behind him after stepping into the dark apartment. He frowned as he put his keys on the table by the door and took a couple of seconds just to listen to the silence that reigned behind the darkness. It was strange, he noted with unease as he started towards the living room.<p>

When only darkness greeted him there, too, he reached for his phone in his pocket and was ready to dial when something caught his eyes. At the other end of the room, in the bay window, the natural light of the night was painting shining gold in pale silver.

Ryan wanted to call out to the woman sitting among the cushions in the window but something held him back. So instead disturbing the silence, he walked up to the window then took a seat facing the woman.

For a long moment, he just sat there watching her profile. Her body was facing him but her head was turned to look at the busy street of Miami down below. She was obviously deep in thoughts and if she was aware of his presence, she didn't show any sign of it. It wasn't until a heavy sigh escaped her lips that Ryan reach out to touch her hand.

She took her time to turn her head toward him, his presence not getting her off guard after all. Pools of troubled blue greeted him when he finally was able to look into her eyes. They were shining with unshed tears and her features were tense with the effort to keep them at bay.

Suddenly he was at a loss as what to say but it seemed that he wasn't expected to say anything because the moment their eyes met, the woman's lips trembled and Ryan didn't waist any time to pull her into his arms. He held her while silent sobs shook her body, her hands clenching into the back of his shirt, her tears staining the front of it. And while the night traffic rushed on beneath the window, he held her in the darkness of their apartment, waiting for the stress of the day to leave her body.

"Want to talk about it?" he finally asked in a low voice when he could feel her breathing even out. Long silence followed his question. She didn't move from her spot in his arms, head resting on his shoulder. "Calleigh?"

"Have you ever thought about that we give too much to this job?"

Though he got a question to his question, he didn't stop to think before answering, "Every day."

His answer surprised Calleigh and she lifted her head from his shoulder to give him a questioning look. She looked uncharacteristically disheveled and Ryan couldn't help reaching out to smooth down her hair.

"Cal, we're living in a secret relationship," he set to elaborate on his previous short answer. "Not even our closest friends know about us. And I for one am fairly sure that if we worked as lawyers, doctors or, I don't know, teachers, we've been married already with three kids." Well, truth was that he'd had a clear image of their future only after a couple of months of dating… almost six years ago. He was ready to propose by their first anniversary and he was pretty sure that she would have said yes, had he asked her. "So, yes, I think about it every time we kiss goodbye in the morning to go to work in separate cars…"

They hadn't given too much to the job. They'd given everything.

"You want children?" Calleigh blinked at him stunned.

Ryan found it strange that from all the things he had just told her that was the detail she was concentrating on. He nodded somewhat uncertainly, not knowing what Calleigh's reaction would be to his confession. Calleigh, though, was lost in her own thoughts.

"We've never talked about that," she mused, her eyes losing focus.

"I just figured you'd tell me when you are ready," he explained with an uncertain half-smile before his expression turned serious. "What brought this on?"

"I always assumed that you don't want kids," Calleigh ignored his question as she went on. "But that was okay with me. I wasn't ready. I didn't think I was ready."

Ryan sighed. He was getting worried. "Calleigh," he gently cupped her face to make her look at him. She looked so pale in the moonlight. "What brought this on?"

There was a long silence that followed his question and Ryan had a suspicion that Calleigh was fighting with her tears once again. He'd got her attention at least.

"Austin asked me to take him and his sister home," she told him finally and her voice was indeed heavy with tears. "And I wanted to say yes. God, I wanted to say yes." Embarrassed, she shook her head to free it from Ryan's gentle grasp and blinked a couple of times to stop the tears; then reached up to wipe her eyes.

Ryan watched on shocked finally understanding what troubled her. Suddenly he felt stupid. All they should have done was to talk about these things and he could have spared Calleigh this heartache.

"You thought I'd say no?" Ryan asked finally. "Calleigh, if you want to take in that little boy and his sister then do it." He would welcome any kid if it meant that Calleigh was happy. Hell, he would raise a whole football team if that was what Calleigh wanted. He didn't even care whether they'd be his biologically or not.

Looking back up at him, Calleigh smiled through her tears. "It's not about him. Not really." She shrugged. "He is an extraordinary boy, Ryan. But there was a family waiting for them. Even if I were in the right situation, I couldn't possibly thwart that family's happiness. Austin will be all right," she stated with conviction. "He bonded with me and it was just natural for him to want to stay with me instead of going with a couple of strangers. But he will adapt and I'm sure he'll be happy."

"And what about you?" Ryan felt a little confused. If it wasn't refusing that boy's request that bothered her so much then what was it?

She sighed turning to look out the window. She took her time to answer and Ryan waited with anxious anticipation.

"I just realized that I missed out on so much," she lamented then after a short pause her features contracted with regret and pain. She turned to him. "And I made you miss out on so much, too. I'm sorry, Ryan. I've never really realized that…"

"Hey," Ryan cut her off. "Stop it," he admonished gently. "You are talking nonsense here." So they finally arrived at the heart of the matter; Calleigh wanted to have children… their own children. He couldn't understand her current mood, though.

"Ryan…"

"Are you ready now?" He interrupted her, eager to know her answer.

"What?"

"Are you ready, Calleigh… to start a family?"

"That's what I'm talking about. I might have just run out of time."

Oh. That was what bothered her?

"No." He shook his head dismissively. "That's your exhausted and over-emotional side talking; it doesn't answer my question. Are you ready?"

"Yes." There was no hesitation in her voice. However, the resignation in it worried Ryan. Was she really that convinced that they had run out of time?

He assumed a bright face, consciously ignoring her worries.

"You see, now we can talk."

"Ryan…"

"Without bringing up the 'I'm-too-old-for-you' topic," he sighed exasperatedly. "You're just turning forty," he smiled when he could see the frown appear on Calleigh's face. "You know how many women choose to have babies at that age nowadays? It's completely normal."

"Maybe… But it's not without risk."

"Maybe," he repeated her words. "But it's not impossible, either. No need to talk about it with resignation. Look, we don't have to make a decision today. If you think so, we can go to your doctor and ask her opinion on it. I can buy you every book on the topic or search for every article that has been published. Calleigh, if you want it – if you want to start a family, I'm here. I want it, too."

He could see that she still had her doubts and he could understand that. It was a big decision to make with many things to consider. As far as he was concerned, though, they could do anything they wanted. He was the hopelessly optimistic one after all.

Seeing her hesitation, he was quick to reassure her, "And if you finally decide that you don't want to go through the pregnancy… that you'd rather adopt a child, I'll respect your decision. I'll…"

"No," Calleigh cut him off with a steady voice and Ryan couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face at seeing her Bullet Girl expression – as he liked to call it – on her face. It told him everything; there was no way to stop Calleigh now. "I want it, all of it. It's just…" her voice trailed off, though more because of nervous excitement then uncertainty.

"Scary?" Ryan supplied, understanding her concerns.

"Like hell."

"Well, it never stopped us before."

"It didn't, did it?"

"So?" Ryan prodded, wanting to hear it from her.

"I want to have a baby with you."

Ryan thought that the grin that appeared on his face would split it into two, especially when he could see that same grin mirrored on Calleigh's face. Suddenly he jumped up from his seat and with a swift movement he lifted Calleigh up throwing her on his shoulder.

"Ryan!" Calleigh squealed in surprise. "What are you doing? Put me down."

"No can do," Ryan informed her as he made his way towards the bedroom with Calleigh hanging over his shoulder and hitting his back in protest. However, Ryan could feel the laughter that shook her body. "You want baby. I'll give you baby." At this Calleigh laughed out but her laughter died in another squeal when Ryan threw her on the bed.

"What?" He cocked an amused eyebrow as he hovered above her. "Thought you wanted to start on the baby project right away."

As an answer Calliegh pulled him into a deep kiss. "You thought right," she breathed, grinding her hips into his just to stress her point. Making good use of Ryan's momentary inattentiveness, Calleigh hooked her leg into his and pushing his shoulder, she flipped them so that she was hovering above him. "Just lose the caveman attitude," she warned him before claiming his lips once again.

**THE END**

_I realize that I left a lot of things unexplained here. Maybe I'll try to fill the gaps and add a second chapter later…_

_Thanks for reading!_


	2. Chapter 2

**A Hard Day's Night**

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything._

_So, here is the second chapter if anybody's interested._

_Enjoy!_

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><p><em>Later that night...<em>

It was late but Ryan couldn't sleep. It seemed that his mind just wouldn't shut off. He was thinking about the last six years and all the lost opportunities. It wasn't that he hadn't honestly thought that they still had time to make things right… to start a family. It was more like that after the events of the nights and the decision they had made, he couldn't come up with a single reason that would sound convincing enough for keeping their relationship a secret all those years.

God knows, he wanted to end their sneaking around countless times. There were just so many men he could watch flirting with his girlfriend seriously thinking that they had a chance.

The Peter Elliott fiasco was easy to get over. That carnival clown of an FBI agent had never really worried him. And things blew into his face anyway. He was an idiot.

Jake Berkley was a completely other matter, though. That man made him nervous. And not because Calleigh paid him too much attention. She did, that was true, but their relationship had been secure enough by then for him not to even consider the fact that Calleigh might leave him. But who wouldn't feel just a tiny bit unconfident in the shadow of so much male ego and cocky confidence that the man had displayed. Ryan had told as much to Calleigh, who in turn just smiled at him and told him that he was talking nonsense. After a while he was inclined to believe that.

And then, with his head injury came Eric's newfound feelings for Calleigh. He had to give it to Calleigh that she'd been dealing with the Cuban's advances gracefully. She had even managed to make the other man understand that they would never be. The problem was that he suspected that the feelings of the man hadn't disappeared over the years. It worried him what would happen when he realized that all the while he'd tried to get Calleigh's attention, she'd been in a relationship with him. Ryan knew how dearly Calleigh valued her friendship with Delko, and he would hate to see it suffer because of him.

It worried him that hiding their relationship would turn out to have made more harm than good… and he feared that during all that time, Calleigh had been actually ready to come out with their relationship and he was the one keeping them back.

He sighed troubled. He guessed that was what happened when people instead of actually talking, assume.

"Go to sleep already." Calleigh's soft, sleepy voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

Ryan raised an amused eyebrow as he looked down at her in the darkness. "I thought you're sleeping."

"I was," she told him snuggling closer to him. "Want to talk about it?" she repeated his words from earlier that night.

Ryan sighed. "I was just thinking about what will happen. It seems so simple now and I couldn't help wondering whether we've wasted too much time."

Calleigh pushed herself up, holding the cover in front of her naked body, and looked at him with a frown. Her long golden locks fell over her shoulders in messy curls while she sat leaning on an arm. "You've just told me that we don't have to worry about time."

"I didn't mean it that way." Ryan also pushed himself up to lean against the headboard and reached out to turn on the lamp. "That's not what I'm saying." He took his time to clear his head somewhat by pressing the bottom of his hands into his eyes then he turned to Calleigh, who was looking at him expectantly. He ran a hand along her arm soothingly. "We were so concerned about our jobs and Stetler then the FBI breathing down on our neck… not to mention all that other crap," he added ashamed, referring to his countless shady actions, during all which Calleigh was standing by him, always expressing her opinion, always calling him on his faults, but never giving upon him. It all seemed a lifetime ago. "Now, it's seems stupid." He shrugged. "That's all."

Calleigh considered it for a few moments. "Well, it may seem stupid now…" she shrugged, "but I guess at the time it wasn't so. I'm sure we'd have acted differently if it'd been the case."

"So you don't regret all these years?" Ryan looked at her shyly.

Calleigh leant closer to him and cupped his cheek with her hand that had been keeping the covers in place in front of her. "Not a single moment." She kissed him and smiled into the kiss when Ryan's arms circled her waist. He pulled her closer and shifted his position to lay her on the bed.

"Me neither," he smiled when they parted. Things had never gone smoothly, there were hard times for sure, but the fact that they were here, in the threshold of a new future, told him that everything was in its place. "Maybe it's the way things were meant to be," he mused and a smile appeared on his face when he realized that he truly believed that. There was nothing to regret - they got through the hard times and they became stronger for it.

"I'd like to think that." Calleigh smiled up at him with warm eyes and Ryan noted how happy she seemed. She had really scared him when he found her so lost and dejected earlier. Right then he was sure that whatever would happen when they reveal their relationship, he'd do anything just to see her as happy as she was at the moment.

"I love you," he told her and found his breath taken away by Calleigh's beaming smile.

"Love you, too."

"Just so you know," Ryan told her with all seriousness. "We'll do this whole thing the right way."

"Of course we will," Calleigh agreed and a mischievous smile appeared on Ryan's face.

"I'm glad you say that because…" The sentence died away on his lips as he shifted his weight over her so that he could reach for something on the nightstand. "I bought this for you." He turned back to her holding a small velvet box. He offered it for Calleigh to take it and when she did, he lay next to her to give her some room. With his head propped on one hand, he watched as she carefully opened the box and smiled at her when her eyes turned at him. They were wide with surprise.

Ryan watched her expectantly but Calleigh seemed hesitant behind her smile. For a long time they stayed like that, neither of them saying anything. After a while Calleigh's smile started to fade, though, and her gaze turned quizzical while Ryan's became uncertain. He let out a little embarrassed chuckle.

"So?" he prompted.

"So what?"

"What do you say?"

"Hmm…" Calleigh regarded the simple but elegant diamond ring that sat in the box. "It's really beautiful."

"That's it? Beautiful?" Ryan asked indignantly. Calleigh chuckled while she shrugged playfully. "And what's your answer?"

Once again Calleigh chuckled as she lifted her head to place a small kiss on Ryan's lips. "It depends," she whispered. Ryan was really confused by now. "What was the question?"

Ryan, closing his eyes, groaned. Of course, the question.

"I want to get married. Do you?" At that Calleigh laughed out.

"Very smooth, Ryan."

Ryan groaned again but couldn't help laughing with Calleigh. "I'm not doing so good, am I?"

"No, not really," Calleigh replied bemused.

"All right, I'll start again… but don't expect me to get sappy."

"Please, don't."

"Here we go…" he cleared his throat. "Calleigh, I knew that I want to spend my life with you right after our first date. You are amazing, gorgeous, funny, really smart, and… shall I go on?"

"That's all right," she reassured him.

"Right," he nodded. "That would take too long… the bottom line is that you are special and I consider myself the luckiest man on Earth just for you paying attention to me, not to mention that you spent the last six years with me putting up with all the crap I threw into your way. And I'm gonna push my luck here but I'd like to spend the rest of my life with you." Here he gave her one of his cutest charming smiles, the one he knew Calleigh couldn't say no to. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes." This time, he didn't have to wait for an answer and Ryan didn't waste any time, either, to pull the ring on her finger and seal the agreement with a kiss.

"Wow," he breathed as they pulled apart.

"What is it?"

"I've just waited for this moment for five years."

"You actually knew that you'd propose after our first date?"

"You don't believe it?" Ryan asked. "I bought the ring not long before our first anniversary. It was actually sitting in my pocket the whole time we were at Rafael's."

"You never asked."

"Does it matter?"

"After tonight," Calleigh mused, stroking his cheek. "Guess not. As you said, that's how it was meant to be."

"I'm sensing a serious turn in the roles here," Ryan noted wryly, referring to Calleigh's newfound confidence and his still lingering worries.

"Well," she smiled again. "You are the one who told me that everything would be all right. I believe you. And I think you left your hopelessly optimistic side in the living room." She indicated towards the door with a humorous smirk.

"I did, didn't I?"

"What's bothering you, Ryan?" The smile disappeared from Calleigh's face and worry took its place. Ryan sighed.

"I'm just a little worried about the others… especially Delko. I don't want this whole thing to cause a rift between you two."

"I don't want it, either. But if I'm as important for him as he claims I am, he'll come to terms with us." She seemed to be considering her own reply for a moment then she shrugged. "And maybe it's time he got a reason to get over me."

"I hope you're right,"

"I am." Ryan couldn't help smiling when her beaming smile reappeared. She looked completely smug as she ran her hand that wasn't trapped between them along his chest and petted his backside. "And now get you naked butt into the living room and find your positive side," she concluded their discussion. "I'm too tired for this and ready to go back to sleep."

"'S all right," he murmured rising above her and burying his face into her neck. "I can do without it for now."

"Did I mention that I'm tired?" Calleigh protested giggling as Ryan kissed her skin fully intent on not going to sleep just yet.

"I might have missed that part," he looked at her with a mischievous grin then promptly claimed her lips to stop any complaint that would leave her mouth. "What were you saying?" he asked cockily when they came up for air and Calleigh's chest was heaving heavily under him.

"I think my sleepiness's just left for the living room," she shared somewhat breathless as she ran her hands over his back. "I'm wide awake now."

"That's fortunate," he breathed against her lips – he could feel Calleigh smile against his lips, "because I am, too."

"No kidding?" Calleigh raised a suggestive eyebrow as she wriggled under him. They both grinned.

It was time to get back on the baby project.

**The End**

_Thanks for reading!_


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